You Don't Have to Accept Free Things

I believe that the majority of people are good people who care about others.  Therefore, I’m willing to bet that you’re a nice person who doesn’t want to hurt the feelings of others.  This is a wonderful trait and makes the world around you a good place.

Unfortunately, your desire to be kind and not hurt others’ feelings can come at your own expense if you don’t learn the skill of saying “no, thank you” when you are offered free things.

Now, I know that there are holidays coming up and that you may be given gifts that you don’t want or need.  The suggestion here is not that you refuse the gifts given on a holiday or special occasion.  You can donate those to a good cause or return the items after the holiday.  

The items I’m concerned about here are the little things that add up.  The free pens when you have dozens of pens already.  Complimentary tote bags when you don’t ever remember to take them with you to the grocery store (I’ll admit I’m guilty of this one - organizers are human too!).  The pins, the magnets, the free shirt that won’t fit you.  It shouldn’t insult the person who is offering them if you politely decline.  If they are insulted, it is a reflection of how they feel, and really has little to do with your refusal.

I’m also worried about the items that you accept when friends and family are decluttering.  It makes them feel better to give them away to someone they know, but if you won’t use or enjoy them, then the items only become clutter for you instead of them.  When working with clients who are guilty of accepting their loved-ones’ discards, I find it helpful to remind them that if the roles were reversed they would not be upset that someone else didn’t want the items they no longer felt were important enough to keep.  

Saying “no” is hard for many people in many situations, but as ‘they’ say, “ ‘no’ is a complete sentence”.  You should probably consider expanding it to “no, thank you” but the intent is the same.  Don’t accept things into your life just because they are free or to avoid the unlikely possibility of upsetting the giver.  You and your feelings matter too and you deserve to have a space free from clutter items that don’t serve a purpose in your life.