Respect What Your Kids Say
There are many times when parents have expectations for what their kids ‘should’ do or want that don’t match up to reality. As an organizer, I see this occur often in the case of desire to keep belongings. Parents want their adult children to cherish the same family belongings and heirlooms (often falsely called ‘memories’) that the parents do, or that the children will change their minds and want their own childhood items at some point in the future. Parents often imagine that their children will suddenly want these items when they get married, have kids, or just mature a little more.
While it is entirely possible that adult children will change their minds and regret their decision, if you have expressly asked your children if they want something, and they do not, there are several reasons to accept their responses and let it go.
You are decluttering to make more space for yourself, so why would you want to burden others with things they say they don’t want?
Part of the experience of being human is making mistakes and having to live with them. Once your children are adults, it is no longer your responsibility to shield them from bad decisions.
Different people have different preferences regarding what they deem important. It’s not fair to force your feelings and viewpoints on your children.
If you still can’t find the strength to let go of things your children have stated they don’t want (and only if you have room to spare), box up the items and clearly label the box with details about the contents.
Alternatively, if you accept that your children will not want the items but you can’t bring yourself to let them go (again, only if you have room to spare), box them up, label the box with details about he contents, and write “throw away upon my death” so that your loved ones don’t waste time and energy sorting through things that were already decided on.
